100 Funny Halloween Sayings and Puns – You’ll Die Laughing

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In our house, the dad jokes aren’t just for dad. We LIVE for puns and jokes that keep us all cracking up, and that includes holiday funnies too! With the help of my tween son, we have compiled a huge list of funny Halloween puns and funny Halloween sayings – with a few classic Halloween jokes sprinkled in. You’ll die laughing with these, so watch out!

Oh – and while this list of Halloween puns is great to read for a random chuckle, that’s not the end of it. We suggest using some of your favorite puns here to add a hilarious note in your kid’s lunch box, or maybe create some new DIY home decor for Halloween! Get creative and have fun!

funny halloween sayings with pumpkins stacked

Funny Halloween Sayings and Quotes

Witch Puns

  • I witch you a Happy Halloween.
  • Please park all brooms at the door
  • Caution! Witch Crossing
  • Stop in for a spell
  • Broom parking. Violators will be toad.
  • Witch way to the candy?
  • Keep calm and carry a wand
  • Whats up my witches?
  • Bow down, witches.
  • Witch-a up to?
  • You cant always get what you wand
  • Basic witch.
  • Home to one cute son of a witch
  • You got me under your spell
  • Witchful thinking
  • Witch, please.
  • Beware of resting witch face

Ghost Puns

  • Ghostly Greetings!
  • Happy Haunting!
  • Have a bootiful Halloween
  • Boo to you from our crew
  • Ghosts don’t give a sheet
  • May the ghosts be with you
  • If you’ve got it, haunt it.
  • Time to lift your spirits
  • Too cute to spook!
  • Im here for the boos
  • Ghosts don’t scare me. I can see right through them.
  • Like my costume? I got it at a boo-tique

Zombie Puns

  • Let the ghoul times roll
  • Romeo and ghouliet
  • Ghouls just wanna have fun
  • Vegan zombies love Graaains!

Related: Creative and Easy DIY Halloween Costumes

Mummy Puns

  • I want my mummy!
  • Mummy of the year.
  • Let’s wrap this night up
  • Mummies really get wrapped up on Halloween

Vampire Puns

  • Have a fang-tastic night
  • Go away, im on my coffin break
  • Im a pain in the neck
  • So long, sucker
  • You make me batty
  • Love at first bite
  • Vampires know how to have a bloody good time
  • I have a few vampire puns, but they suck
vampire kid costume

Werewolf Puns

  • Werewolfs are fur real
  • Happy Howl-eween
  • Howl you doing, good lookin’?
  • Halloween is my favorite howl-iday

Candy and Trick or Treat Sayings

  • Halloween is a real treat.
  • Keep calm, trick or treat and carry on.
  • I am guilty of eating candy in cold blood
  • Trick or treat yo self
  • I cant reece-ist a good halloween pun
  • Twix or treat!
  • Im not playing Twix when i say i love this holiday
  • Halloween night pop rocks my world
  • I wont let you slip through my butter fingers
  • Dont go goblin up all my candy

Other Funny Halloween Sayings and Puns

  • Eat, drink and be scary!
  • Don’t be a scaredy cat
  • If you want a tasty sweet… be sure to holler trick or treat!
  • Teamwork makes the scream work!
  • Enter if you dare, foolish mortals.
  • Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
  • Creeping it real this Halloween!
  • My costume is eerie-sistable
  • Lets get this party startled
  • Live on the fright side

Skeleton Puns and Skull Puns

  • Bone to be wild
  • Laughing til I’m coffin
  • Bone appetite
  • No body won the skeleton race
  • Bugs and hisses
  • Some people have no guts.
  • Dying to have fun
  • Halloween is going to be great – I can feel it in my bones
  • I don’t need guts to be this scary
funny skeleton puns

Pumpkin Puns:

  • You don’t know jack-o-lantern
  • Lookin’ gourd-geous
  • Give em’ pumpkin to talk about
  • Dont be a jerk-o-lantern
  • Lets pumpkin spice things up
  • Your the pick of the patch
  • Im way ahead of the carve
  • Carving out some time for halloween fun

Halloween Jokes

Why do elevators make ghosts happy? Because it lifts their spirits

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash.

What do mathematicians eat on halloween? Pumpkin pi.

Where do ghosts learn to become pilots? At fright school

Whats a ghosts favorite street? A dead end

What do you call a ghost that haunts small hotels? An inn specter

Why did the vampire join the police force? To learn how to do a stake out

If you want peace on halloween, you should sign a trick or treaty

My husband died, but he’ll always be my boo

Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo

Whats in a ghost’s nose? Boo-gers

What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-boo

Whats a ghost’s favorite dessert? I-scream

What kind of music do mummies listen to? Wrap.

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